My First Flogging

My First Flogging

September 10, 2005

FLOG:
v 1: beat severely with a whip or rod

I thought I had been flogged before: a flogging scene at a sex club, a flogging during a performance art piece at a nightclub, even a flogging exhibition during an AVITAR event. These events in the early 90’s were a mere dusting of a flogger against my back. I’m sure there was pain involved and maybe even some marks were left, but none of my earlier experiences compare to the my flogging scene at the Chicago Hellfire Clubs annual event called Inferno.

Master Jim and his slave for the weekend Master Aticus approached me and my Sirs on Saturday afternoon. I had been making eye contact with Master Jim earlier in the event and was watching him put Master Aticus through his paces. A Master serving another Master, that’s a very unusual dynamic in the BDSM world. Anyway, they had watched the end of a bondage scene that involved me and my two Sirs. Master Mike had bound Master John and tied him to a tree. We chatted for a while and Sir Jim commented that my back was unmarked. He asked permission from my Sirs to invite me to a flogging scene in the evening. My Sirs agreed and a date was made for 10pm in the Whip tent.


Around 9:45 I walked with Sir Mike to the Bondage tent and saw my intended flogger finishing a bondage scene that involved hot wax. I was a bit worried and a little intimidated by the amount of hot wax that was being poured on the screaming sub with a burning candle. Obviously, the sub was enjoying the session, but the scene looked a little more extreme than I had experienced in the past. They finished up around 9:55, and Master Jim was ready for me. I was surprised. I thought he would need some downtime to regroup. He was actually very pleased to see I found him and seemed excited about the scene to come.

First we walked over to the Whip tent and all of the whipping stations were being used. I guess everyone wanted one last good whipping before the end of Session A. We walked over to the Music Room which is an indoor play space at the other end of the compound. As we walked, I did what Master Mike instructed me to do and that was to discuss my limits and my tolerance for pain. He was very receptive of this conversation. He said he actually liked having this first conversation with a sub because it gives him a sense of the sub’s level of experience. I told him that I had been flogged, spanked, and paddled before, but I still considered myself a novice. I did tell him that I have a high threshold for pain, and I understand and enjoy the endorphin rush of an S/M experience. He explained that the scene would involve flogging and paddling, and that he had done a similar scene with Master Aticus the evening before.

We proceeded to the Music room. I asked permission to go to the bathroom and was told to meet Master Aticus by a piece of equipment that looked like a ladder made of wooden dowels. When I returned, I presented myself to Master Aticus and asked him how I should address him. He told me he would prefer to be called Sir. That really excited me because Master Aticus is a beefy man that I found very sexy. He told me to undress and put my boots back on. “Keep the jockstrap on,” I asked. “No, I prefer you naked he answered.” Wow, I was turned on already.

They proceeded to try to strap me spread eagle against the ladder like piece of equipment, but of course I was too short. I was relieved that it didn’t work because I couldn’t imagine being pinned against the wooden dowels for any length of time.
Prior to being placed against a whipping post in the shape of an X, Master Jim hugged and caressed me for a good ten minutes or so. He once again explained the scene: he would be spanking my ass with a number of his wooden paddles and would be flogging my back. There was no discussion of intensity level or desired outcome. I wasn’t concerned because at that point I felt I could trust him enough to know how far to take me. Was I hoping to be broken? Absolutely.

They moved me over to a cross like whipping post. Again I was too short to be placed spread eagle against it, but they attached my hands a little lower. I was once again relieved because my right shoulder was starting to bother me from a scene that morning. Master Aticus placed me on the cross. He blindfolded me, and it was his turn to hug me and massage my back: a little tender before the intense.
He stepped away and it seemed like an eternity before the scene began.

Finally, Master Jim started with a flogger. He was almost tenderly flogging my back. He was getting me used to the rhythm and the motions he would continue to use throughout the scene: left shoulder, right shoulder, down the middle of my back. He then stood to my left and ran his fingers through my crewcut as he struck my back horizontally. That was a nice touch I thought. He continued the routine for some time. I was a little disappointed. When was he going to turn it up? At this point, I’m moaning and groaning. Anticipation was driving me crazy. He delivered a few good blows, but nothing like I expected.

He stepped away for awhile and I could here the two Sirs talking. He then came back and placed a wooden paddle against my ass. The way he lightly moved the paddle against me was very sensual. He gently patted my butt at different rhythms and at increasing intensity. Finally a good SMACK. Finally I let out my first scream. It burned. It stung. It hurt. He continued his pounding. My grunts, groans, and screams echoed in the room. “Do you like my paddle boy,” he asked. Yes SIR, I answered with a yell. That fantasy was becoming a reality.

Next he went back to flogging with a different flogger. The intensity level was kicked up one or two notches, but it didn’t hurt yet like the paddling. I was surprised about the flogging sensation. I thought I remembered it to be more stinging, but it was a thud against my back and shoulders, more like a punch. While the pain wasn’t overwhelming, the rhythm was intoxicating. Again he would take breaks to check my hands, massage my head, and scratch my back. He would whisper into my ear, “Are you alright, boy?” “Yes Sir,” I would answer. “Thank you for your valuable time,” I said once.

Finally the scene was taking over. I was entering that headspace that allows your body to take the punishment it is about to receive. The blows were getting harder and harder, and my screams became more real. The screams were no longer a thought about reaction, they became an impulse. The loudness of the scream equaled the intensity of the strike. I let go. The rhythm changed: Strike, scream, Strike, grunt, Strike, groan. I became more aware of the music in the room. The sound of the flogger against my back and the echo of my yells seemed to create the bass line for the music.

When this flogging session ended, I could tell it was Master Aticus who brought water over to me. I could feel his body against mine as he placed the cup against my lips. His presence became a blanket of comfort because I knew he understood exactly what I was going through. The water was like a fuel providing the energy and strength (both physical and mental) I needed to take me further. He whispered in my ear, “You’re doing fine boy.” I laughed.

Master Jim returned. Once again, he massaged my back and caressed my head. Master Jim is a large man. He hugged me from behind and his body engulfed mine. He leaned into me and said, “Boy, can I take you farther.” If you don’t understand boyspace you won’t understand how being called boy at any given time during a scene can almost cause you to climax. Boy. The word reverberated in my brain. It’s like a hit of poppers. I answer, “Yes Sir.” This time I know, I’m asking for real pain. My mind starts to wander as he pressed a new paddle against me. I begin to wonder, why do I like pain. No, not like. Love pain. Am I a pain pig? Does that make me weird? Does that make me bad? BAM! The paddle whacks me back into the scene. It’s now an assault. Sir becomes more verbal. “You like it boy, You want more boy, you love my paddle boy?” It’s a chant. It’s a mantra. I’m sure endorphins are kicking in. My mind is in and out of the scene. I start thinking about my ex-boyfriend Gilles. I’m close to tears. You’re not going to cry Roger, I tell myself. Think of your Sirs Roger. Erase the bad memories with the good. I’m screaming and yelling as the spanking continues. I become aware of others shouts of pain and pleasure. I become very aware of the whipping post. I think I can see a bright light through my blindfold. Are there people watching. Are they impressed with the punishment I’m taking. I’m a tough boy. I’m a tough boy. My head is swimming with memories, sounds, feelings, emotions, and every now and then extreme pain!

The paddling stopped, but this time he returned right away with riding crop like whip. This time a new verbal game began. “You go to the gym boy.” It was more of statement, then a question. “You do calf raises boy?” “You do them standing and sitting boy?” I shout, “YES SIR,” to all of the questions. “Well you created a mighty fine target boy.” SMACK the whip cracked against my left calf. CRACK, the whip smacked against my right calf. Back and forth. Three strikes on one, then three on the other. I’m aware of the pain again. Can I do this I question? Am I ready to scream STOP or RED which would be a safe word that would signify I’m ready to stop? Hell no! I want to be called boy, I want to be a toughboy. I want to show off for whoever is watching or not watching. I want Master Aticus to be proud. I want my Sirs to be proud. I’m not a quitter.

This is where things get a little fuzzy. I know there is a lot more hydration going on. The breaks are timed just right. This time Master Aticus lets the water spill from my lips so it can bathe my chest. By this time, my legs begin to tremble because I had been standing with them flexed for I guess about 40 minutes. I finally realized I needed to let go and rest my legs against the X of the post. Was there more paddling, was there more flogging, did the assault to my calves continue? I don’t remember. I do remember Master Jim asking very politely one more time. “Are you ready to go a little farther?” “Yes Sir,” I beg.

A new flogger? I don’t know. But I do know we meant business. The strikes were hard, the strikes were quick. How can his arm hold out I’m thinking. Once I hear myself scream like I’ve never screamed before. I hate it. I love it. It hurts. If feels good. I even say it feels good. I laugh out loud a few time times. Sir is screaming now. “You love it don’t you BOY?” “YES SIR!” “You want more BOY?” My mind says no, but I scream, “YES SIR!” Left shoulder, Right shoulder, Middle of the back, he flogs at about an intensity of 8. Left shoulder, Right shoulder, Middle of the back: Intensity 9. Left should, Right shoulder: Intensity 10. Middle of the back: INTENSITY 11! I’m broken.

He knows it. It stops. I don’t know who’s behind me first. But I sense both men behind me. One is giving me water, One is loosening my restraints. Suddenly I’m cold. My legs are shot. They are trembling uncontrollably. I can remain standing, but I'm not quite sure if I can stand completely upright. I’m energized with no energy. I hear move him over. Someone wants the cross. Sir Aticus practically carries me over a few feet. He stands behind me and then Sir Jim stands in front of me. They blanket me with their bodies. They blanket me with what I feel is love. I’m shivering. I want to cry, but I don’t want to cry. I’m engulfed by these two MASTERS. They are not my masters, but I once again understand why they are called MASTERS. They are MASTERS of flogging. It’s an art, it’s and expression of love. It’s a GIVE, It’s a TAKE. It’s YING. It’s YANG. COMMUNITY, I think. We’re here for each other. It’s a sharing. It’s a caring. I’m smiling. I keep thinking they are going to separate and let me get dressed. They seemed to instinctually know that I needed to be held. Not comforted, but supported. Their strangers I think. How can they now what I need? The answer is experience.

Finally they separate, and I’m ready to get dressed. Master Jim instructs Master Aticus to collect everything and go back to the room. Master Jim hands me my clothes and plays with my nipples before I dress. That arouses me and in a sense grounds me. I get dressed and Master Jim is going to walk me back to the Beverage tent. At the door, Sir Mike is waiting.

I’m ecstatic to see him. I want to tell him everything. He hugs me and holds me. He grabs my hand and leads me out the door. I’m babbling. He holds my hand as we walk to the Beverage tent where Sir John is working at Satan’s Corner. He once again explains why he can’t play with me at that intensity. You can’t physically hurt the one you love. The head trip of the scene could take you to a really dark place, and I don’t want to be responsible for that he explains. Sir John is worried sick about the physical outcome of the scene. I fall deeper in love with my SIRS. The collar makes more sense to me. BOYROGER makes sense to me. The endorphins bring euphoria. WOW!