Today's Poll

Someone asked me last week:
Would you rather be
A> the object of affection
B> the object of desire
C> or both

Which would you choose?

Being 43, sometimes the memory doesn't always serve us too well. I thought I would chronical my life in reverse order. I have a tendacy to see my life in terms of relationships, jobs, events, turning points. I'll give it a shot here:

Present: Collared boy to Master Mike and Master John. Currently GM of Banana Republic Men's at Century City Mall. Soon to be (September 2006) displaced as GM because the Men's and Women's stores are combining. I don't know where or what my new role will be. Ain't that just wonderful. Merle is still my roommate, and she continues to be a wonderful friend.

January 2006: I go to St. Louis to hopefully see Michelle Kwan compete for her 10th National title. Unfortunately she is sidelined with an injury, but I do have a blast with my skating buds. Her fitness to be able to compete in the Olympis is questioned. She is eventually named to the team but aggrivates her injury in Turin. She does not compete in the Olympics. It was heartbreaking.

September 2005: Attend Inferno with my Sirs. Get flogged and broken. Strange and wonderful experience.

March 2005: I am collared by Master Mike and Master John. boyroger's journey begins.

February 2005: I get promoted to become the HOS of Banana Republic Century City Men's. The first year was really tough. The second year is better but tough in new ways: Modern Store.

January 2005: I go to Portland and watch Michelle Kwan win her 9th title. I see her skate to perfection: Spartacus at practice and in competition was flawless. I get Michelle's autograph. Became closer with my skating friends.

December 2004: Spend my second Christmas alone. Thank God for Merle. We went to Bruch at Rod's and it becomes a tradition.

November 2004: I log on to slave4master.com and meet lthrbound. The rest is boy history.

June 2004: I decide to get high one more time. Go to the Hollywood Spa and cruise Manhunt. net. It was too easy to find the dealer and the tweakers. It was scary

May 2004: Go to IML with Daddy Don. I have 5 days of sobriety. New I was going to use when I got home. It was fun but I was a very lost boy.

May 2004: Go on a 4 day binge. Tried to keep it a secret, but eventually told Gilles and Daddy Don.

September 2004: I go to New York to visit Harry Mary. I spend too much money but see amazing plays, eat wonderful food, and have a blast with Harry Mary.

January 2004: Gilles and I go to St. Thomas together. Our last trip together. I saw every reason why I fell in love with him and every reason he's an asshole :)

December 12, 2003: I go to see Rent with Arjuna. It wasn't the best production in the world. I get home. Gilles isn't home around 11pm. I call him and he tells a bad lie. I find out about Lorenzo. I'm floored how he could walk out on me as easily as he did. For someone with abandonment issues to get dumped, I surprisingly held it together fairly well. I was walking in a daze for a while.


More to come:

Instant Blog

I wish that I could invent a contraption that would take my thoughts and instantly transcribe them for my blog. Many times I'm out and about and have a musing that would be perfect for a blog entry. Unfortunately by the time I make it home or to my desk the urgency to share dissapates.

I spent two afternoons over the 4th of July Holidays at the Beach. The first day I walked a few miles along the shore, looking for the Boys of Leather event. Yes, I thought I could just show up to Venice beach with 100,000 other folks and run into my friends. I was OK with just strolling along the beach. After my break up with Gilles, I spent many of melancholy day at Venice Beach, the Santa Monica Pier, and Will Roger's beach.

On July 4th, I actually wanted to work out at Muscle beach and discovered that there was a body building competition going on. I saw some truly amazing bodies. These athletes must adopt a very serious lifestyle to maintain such mass. (Steriods too I suppose) One thing I did not like was the use of spray on tans. These beautiful physiques were painted orange by a chemical to make them appear tanned. Didn't work for me. The "machismo" of these men was fascinating too. To me, the body building mentality if very "homo-centric." These men are constantly competing against other men by comparing bodies. They are constantly checking each other out. Their posing trunks are quite gay too!

God and the people. There were so many people at the beach. So many different types. The crazies, the gang bangers, the European tourists, the dudes, the Mexican families with their 8 kids (was that racist? sorry). When I walked north past the Santa Monica Pier, I was amazed by how crowded it was. I don't know what it is about kids and throwing sand, but they sure love to do it. And the Mexican men, don't believe in bathing suits or even trunks. Almost all of them were in street clothes and the majority of them didn't even take their shirts off.

During my wandering, my head was constantly churning and turning. Thinking about Gilles, thinking about Sir Mike and Sir John, thinking about my job, my family and friends in Virginia I never talk to, my friends Rafael and boy Chris. Often times I would think while my life is full of uncertainty, I truly have a wonderful life.

I've said recently, I treat life like a novel. Instead of enjoying the read, letting the plot unfold. I want to skip to the end and ensure that Roger lives "happily ever after." That he is safe and sound and in the company of the people he loves. And that they are safe and sound and happy. Unfortunately I know life does not read that way. The genre is not consistant. Sometimes life is an action packed adventure, but sometimes it is a melodrama too.

The life of Roger Francis DeLaCruz certainly has included many chapters. Actually it has encompassed many volumes. What's next in this book, I surely don't know. One thing I do know is I'm no where near the end of this book!